Whisper
by StarRise
Summary: Valentines day fluff bunny. Mainly involving Ratchet and an OC.


Whisper

_This is written from Ratchet's point of view. It is my attempt to play around with first character perspective. It was also to pacify the valentines day fluff bunny that has been following me around. I am willing to do just about anything to loose those scary fluffy pink things with fangs. Also, Impact has been hovering on the edge of my conscious and she deserves something. So says Starsheild._

_Ratchet, Skyfire, and First Aid all belong to Hasbro- who created a great thing and then promptly butchered a lot of it. Starsheild, Impact, Moonbright, Windrush, and Whisper are all original characters of mine. They are more than walk-ons in the insane maelstrom of matter and chaos that is the inner workings of my brain._

_If there exist other OC's somewhere in fandom that have the same or similar names, these were not meant to be stolen or borrowed. They came to me as most of my characters come- spontaneously and painfully._

_end notes  
_

~*~

I was at the edge of processor meltdown.

All of my advances were turned down. Hints fell on deaf audios. She appeared oblivious to the almost blatant indications of interest and the pleading-that-was-not-quite pleading for a chance, neither of which were typical components of my core programming.

What would it take to win her spark? To convince her of the truth that mine was screaming at me. Of the same message that hers' had to be bombarding her with. Alone we are half- together we are one.

I went to the others- those who knew her well enough to help me. I asked. I pleaded. I begged for answers.

Moonbright and Windrush had looked at me with pity in their optics. Finally Moonbright shook her head and reached across the table, laying a hand gently over mine in a comforting gesture. "There is hurt there Ratchet. Even we don't know how deep or where it comes from."

They weren't trying to discourage me. In fact, before we parted I had their blessings, along with wishes for my success. They wanted only happiness for their friend and comrade.

Starsheild was able to help me see what I needed to do, the only real route available to me. When I got her alone and told her all of it- How my spark leapt every time I saw her. How I would be content to simply watch her all day if my responsibilities and duties didn't interfere. How I wanted to come out of recharge each morning with her beside me.

Her words almost discouraged me. I could tell that she knew far more then what she was telling. Yet my own profession gave me an understanding of her discretion. I understood doctor/ patient confidentiality, something that did exist for me so long as it did not endanger the well-being of the other Autobots. Her unofficial job held confidentiality just as sacred as mine. She had to protect the trust of all of those who came to her with their problems.

"Just keep doing what you are doing. Remind her you are here. Show her that you care. She will tell you when the time is right, whether she wants to or not. Then you can move on."

The cryptic words irritated me at first, in my already desperate state. "Tell me? Tell me what? What is so terrible that she feels she can't tell me? What do I not know?"

Even though she rarely spoke to me outside of a professional setting, I though I knew most of Impacts secrets. I knew where she had grown up. Who her creators were. Where she had learned to fight. I knew that underneath that cold front she presented to the world was a kind, bright spark. That with that spark came a sharp processor that only needed the right knowledge to make her a full fledged medic. Someone who had taught me a thing or two about on-the-fly repairs, improvisation, and emergency coding.

"Just give her time Ratchet. Please."

I knew when a conversation was over.

~*~

Valentines Day.

Such an odd concept for me to try and wrap my processor around. Why have a special day to show your mate, or potential mate, that you cared for them? Why not do it every day?

Following that equation though, many human rituals confused me. I did not understand some of the Arks current residents and their obsession with trying out human rituals, but if it kept them out of trouble, and usually in turn out of my gears, who was I to stop them?

The common room was semi full when I wandered in; energon and my duty schedule for the day the only things occupying my processor. I noticed the flying femmes were gathered around a table that they had unofficially claimed as their own. I got my energon and saw that Moonbright and Windrush had finished their energon and departed, leaving Impact with waves and apologies as they reported for duty.

I stood by the energon dispenser, contemplating joining her. Or more accurately, contemplating the odds that she would allow me to join her. I was watching her watch everyone else when the expression on her face changed abruptly, the new emotion shocking me.

Pain.

Pure, spark-deep pain.

The look made me wonder what could have happened. No one present would have hurt her like that on purpose. A love gone bad? Scanning the room I noticed no mech who might have caused it. All the mechs present in the room were already spoken for, bonded, or not interested right now.

I looked at her out of the corner of my optic again, following her gaze and ending up on the 'bots that had just entered. Skyfire? He had been bonded to Starsheild long before the flying femmes had joined us here on earth. The large mech was kind, and had a reputation for being very laid back.

Starsheild? The femme had no enemies that I knew of. Even the twins respected her, and I still wanted to know how she had managed that.

Which only left…Hope. Brighthope- Skyfire and Starsheilds' sparkling. The little one was riding in her carriers arms, looking around with bright, innocent optics.

Impacts face somehow managed to twist into even deeper pain before she got herself under control. Downing the rest of her energon she chucked the cube and left the common room without a backward glance.

I studied my own energon ration, stifled a sigh, and downed it as fast as I could. Pitching the cube in the recycle, I set off after her.

Impact was right where I figured she would be hiding. Sometimes the femme was more like me than even I cared to admit. The skies around the base would be occupied, between practicing bots and the normal air patrol. There was not time for an extended flight with the way the duty schedule was set. Which meant the only place left to run was the medical bay.

I wasn't scheduled on duty for another orn. No one who didn't have to- read as injured or ordered to report under threat of punishment-ventured in there. Which made it the perfect place to go if you wanted to be alone.

She tried to act busy when entered, hurriedly turning her back to me as she restacked supplies. She wasn't fast enough to keep me from seeing the pain still in her optics. I could read the tension in her body. Tension that was throwing her so off kilter that she hit a bin with her elbow, decorating the med bay floor with a collection of small spare parts.

When I moved to help her pick them up she snapped.

"I've got it under control. Go away."

I knelt on the floor in front of her as she scrambled around gathering up the parts.

"Impact. What is wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." She growled in return, optics glued to the floor. "Let me do my job. Go away."

"You are not 'fine', Impact." I said calmly, evenly, despite my aching spark. And if you will not tell me what is wrong, I cannot help."

"I don't need your help. I've already told you- there's nothing wrong. So let me get back to work. You aren't on duty yet. There's no reason for you to be here."

"No. But I will be as soon as I call Prowl and tell him that you are unfit for duty and that I am taking your shift."

Her head snapped up, optics locking on mine as my words worked their way through her processor.

"You can't do that!"

"As CMO I most certainly can. In fact, I am required to do so." I waved a hand at the parts still scattered around us. "By allowing you to continue your shift I am placing anyone who might walk through those doors in need of assistance in danger."

"You're saying I'm not good enough any more?"

Her words hurt, but not enough to stop me. "I am saying that, in the state you are in, you are a danger to yourself and everyone in your care."

I barely got a hand up in time to shield my face from the fistful of parts she flung at me. The action was followed by the rattle of rapid, clumsy movement. It was only after my audios registered the sound moving away from me and halting that I dared lower the arm shielding my face.

Her back was to me, frame quivering under an internal strain as she leaned heavily on one of the exam tables.

Taking great care to make plenty of noise, I got to my feet and came up behind her. Perhaps it was not the wisest thing I could have done, but at the moment my spark completely overruled my processor, my logic center, and any other lick of sensible programming I might have possessed.

I reached out and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her trembling frame against mine. Her frame locked up, and I prompted my processor, priming it for a free flight across the med bay. She was a street fixer - not your average medic.

I got a shock, just not what I had expected. Instead of the leverage under my arm and the scrambling of my systems as I flew through the air to collide with the opposite will, she collapsed against me. The defiance drained out of her and the trembling grew worse, small sounds of extreme distress escaping her.

Shifting my stance to support both of us, I cradled her against me, alternating between soothing sounds and nonsense words of comfort. She wouldn't look at me, arms wrapped around her body defensively.

Once she was securely settled I spoke softly in her audio. "Tell me Impact. I can't stand to see you hurt like that."

She broke in my arms. "Whisper."

"That's fine." I assured her, holding her up. "Tell my any way you want, just tell me."

"No. That was her name."

"Whose name love?" The endearment came out before I processed what I was saying, my spark bypassing my processor again. It didn't help matters that there were plenty of things to distract my processor at the moment. Her? A sister? A friend? A friend- she had said she was her creator's only creation. So-

"My sparkling."

It took every bit of control I had gained over my motor skills to not lock up at that pained confession.

"Sparkling?" I repeated, stunned. Hurt. She had a sparkling? Was she bonded? Was that why she had turned down or pointedly ignored all of my advances? Why, in Primus's name, had she never told me? Why-?

My internal tirade was cut short by the realization that she was still speaking. Babbling, really. The words were coming so fast and painfully they flowed into one another, a quiet stream of agony.

"I was on the street. A fixer, hot property. A crime ring caught me. I was nothing but a valuable toy. I managed to escape during one of the battles and went into hiding, skipping from place to place. Fighting, stealing, trading- to keep both of us alive."

A shudder ran though her body. "I failed. I couldn't do it. Not by myself. I was almost gone when I found the youngling. He had wandered away and gotten lost. I hid him until someone came looking for him. They took me in too. At first it was just for the night and a meal. They let me stay when they found out I was a fixer. Even after Whisper separated."

At some point during the narration she'd gotten turned around. Her face was now buried in my chest plate. I changed my hold. One hand remained around her waist, holding her up and against me at the same time. My other hand rose to rub slow gentle circles on her back.

At first I was careful to limit the contact to her back armor. When it seemed to be helping I grew bolder, moving on to base of her wings, carefully keeping the speed and the pressure the same. I moved no farther out on the sensitive wings, going for comfort not seduction. A flyers' wings were one of the most sensitive parts of the body, and I knew I was treading a very thin line.

The quivering tapered off and the words started again. "We stayed. It wasn't the life I wanted for her. But there were others for her to play with, enough to keep us energized, and a safe place to stay. Until they came. The war caught up with us again. The battle…"

Her voice broke here, falling I could barely pick it up." The battle leveled the city. I lost her when one of the building collapsed. When I came back online I looked for her. I looked. I searched until my systems off-lined again. When I came to I didn't know where I was or what was going on. I came online like I am now, with Moonbright and Windrush."

I knew she was done this time when she stopped. For a while I held her close, attempting to make my presence as soothing as possible as I processed what I had learned and made appropriate plans. I pressed my helm against hers briefly, then bodily picked her up and placed her on the table.

Her frame jerked, and I grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. "Give me a minute."

I opened my private comm., praying to Primus as I cleaned up the mess on the floor. /First Aid./

/Yes?/

The instant reply was a relief. /Can you take the day shift?/

/Impact?/ The question startled me, but he continued calmly. /No problem. I'm on my way. Just get her back in one piece./

/Thanks./

I wasn't sure that he heard me, my response delayed by my surprise. I hoped I hadn't ruined any of his plans for the day. I would have to ask around and make it up to him if I had.

The med bay taken care of, my next dilemma was what to do with Impact. The obvious answer- go somewhere we could talk without interruption- was awkward. Not the talking part, just the actual going. She was a flyer, I was a driver. Which meant that anywhere we went we would be traveling separately, or walking.

Walking.

That gave me an idea as I tossed the last few parts in the bin and placed it back on the shelf. Moving to stand in front of her I held out a hand. "Come on."

She looked at me, startled. "But medical-."

"Is in perfectly good hands. "First Aid announced as he marched in. "So get out."

Impact appeared stunned, and I had to tug on her hand several times before her processor began functioning in the present again. She slid off the exam table and I nodded my thanks to Aid as I led her out the door.

The alert ding on my comm startled me, and I answered it with obvious irritation. /What?/

I was sorry when I recognized the caller, but she laughed and dismissed my apology. /It's quiet outside and the lookout is clear./

/It won't stay that way long on a day like today./

/Oh yes it will./ There was a definite note of smugness in her tone. /I made a general announcement that I had plans for it for the day. All day./

Which, in Starsheild speak, meant that unless you were part of those plans, you stayed the hell away. No one would cross 'Sheild. She always had a reason for what she did, and someday she might be doing something for you. So we would be safe. Probably until late tomorrow.

Not that we would be staying that long. I had nothing planned. Not too long ago, all of my plans had consisted of working what should have been a quiet shift and avoiding the festivities.

/There is a container of stuff up there. On the right. In the shade./

/You didn't have to -./

There was a soft laugh. /Neither do you Ratchet./

Before I could answer the comm. clicked off. 'Sheilds way of saying that the conversation was at an end. I shrugged and let it drop. I had other matters that needed attending to at the moment, and I could deal with her later.

I led Impact outside and started up the side of the volcano. She started to resist when we stepped out into the sun, but I didn't let go of her hand.

"Trust me."

The doubt was there in her optics, but after a moment she gave in. She knew I wouldn't hurt her, and I now knew her darkest secret- a secret I was also now sure Starsheild had known all along. My processor was momentarily distracted, wandering off on a tangent. A tug on my hand as Impact dug her heels in brought me back to the present. Her optics had cleared, and she was looking at me warily.

"Where are we going?"

"Up." I replied simply, then smiled a little. "You can't tell me you are afraid of heights. I've watched you fly."

She stared at me, but followed me up the narrow trail. There was a place high on the dormant volcano that had always been relatively level and open. A couple of dinobots had modified it, opening it up even more, during their early years. It had become a rather popular hang out for those Autobots who enjoyed the outdoors but lacked the ambition or the time to venture any farther from base.

"Where are we going?" Impact asked again, just before we reached the final switchback in the trail.

The question, genuine curiosity instead of suspicion this time , made me pause. "You have never been up here before?"

She shook her head. "No."

Briefly, I took a moment to work out how long she and the other flyers had been here and failed. Dismissing it as unimportant, I tugged her the rest of the way up the trail and out onto the open flat.

To a grounder the view was amazing. Different, so very different, from our home world of Cybertron. There was a logical, asymmetrical harmony to the desert stretching out before us. I wasn't sure it would have the same effect on a flyer, but when she moved past me, optics captured by the view, I knew I shouldn't have worried.

Leaving her to absorb it, I searched out the container that 'Sheild had left. It was small and just where she had said it would be. Prying open the lid I poked around at the contents. It was mostly filled with energon. Regular grade, and two smaller cubes of carefully chilled high grade tucked in the corner.

I studied it, surprised and wary. There was no way on this planet that was coming out. Noticing a small data pad tucked in the corner, I flipped the screen on. The message was short and to the point. Good Luck.

Retrieving two of the cubes of regular, I settled down on one of the rocks that some bored spark had shaped into a bench, and waited. I had thought that she would come join me once she was satisfied. Instead she set down on the edge of the lookout, feet hanging, and back to me. Weighing the available options, I picked up both cubes of energon and went to join her, offering her a cube as I settled.

"So tell me about her."

~*~

The sun fell, and there was silence as the sky blazed with color. Another way in which Earth differed from Cybertron, a planet lit mostly from within. The brilliant colors reminded me of something else. Getting up carefully, I retrieved the high grade and offered one to Impact.

For a long time she looked at the cube, then took it with a shrug, tipping it from side to side as it glowed in the fading light. "So how long have you been planning this?"

To my shame, for a moment I tried to come up with a way to take credit for all of it. I gave up with a shrug. "I didn't. This, today, never crossed my processor."

"None of it?"

"Well, " I admitted, "The getting you away from the others so that we could talk is something that has been on my processor a lot. But doing it like this? Let us just say that it is a good thing the person I owe for this isn't one to call in favors."

The dire threats mumbled against Starsheild were not voiced quietly enough to escape my audios. They made me smile because I could tell that unless I managed to make a monumental mess of this, they were as empty as my own.

As the stars appeared, no longer overpowered by the fading light of the sun, the conversation moved to other things. Even among the darkness and despair of the war there were bright points and happy times. As I wandered along a path of memory she learned more about me then most of the crew knew. I didn't talk about my past often. Not because it was traumatic or dark, but because up until the final falling out, I had lived the ideal dream of the Golden Age.

Raised by creators who truly wanted and loved me, I had been allowed to discover my own interests and encouraged to pursue my passion in the field of medicine, even though it differed from theirs. I had family, friends, a career, a home. All of it was mine until Megatron made his bid for power.

I didn't know how long I had been speaking. I really didn't want to know because it would give me some idea of how long she had been leaning against me, my arm around her shoulders to hold her close. The tension in her frame was gone, and with so much of her pressed so close to me there was no way my sensitive scanners could avoid feeling the emotions flitting through her field. She was tired, but not exhausted. Peace- she was peaceful. More peaceful, I knew with sudden insight, then she had been since landing here on Earth.

I ran out of things to say. I was afraid the silence would prompt her to leave, or at least pull away. Instead her helm came to rest on my shoulder as she looked up at the stars. Relaxing, my optics wandered heavenward as well, my processor skipping idly as the rest of me enjoyed the peaceful stillness.

Movement out of the corner of my optic caught my attention. Impact raised her empty high grade cube, studying it critically before setting it aside, her hands returning to rest in her lap.

"I'm not bonded."

I stared at her, wondering where that had come from, when she continued. "You must have wondered, when I told you about Whisper. I have no idea who her sparker was. Only that he couldn't have been a flyer- she was a grounder through and through."

"You must have wondered if that was why I kept turning you down."

The common laws of conversation dictated that I say something here. But I ignored them, as I often did. She was getting to something, and I wasn't about to go and put a speed bump in the way.

"I'm not bonded and it wasn't you. Nothing personal." She quickly clarified." I couldn't deal with hurting that way again. I can't take it."

"So you held everyone at arms length." I concluded out loud. That habit of hers had not escaped me. It was something I did as well, sometimes the only way for a medic to deal with what we had to deal with and manage to maintain something resembling normal function. There was one major difference between my arms length and hers though- I let some 'bots closer.

Ironhide.

Optimus.

Even Jazz and Prowl.

She let no one in. Not even the members of her wing, those she should be closest to. It wasn't for lack of trying on her wing mates' part either.

"If I don't let anyone in than no one can hurt me." She twisted to look me in the optics, searching. "I'm wrong, aren't I?"

I thought on it very carefully, weighting each word on the balancing scale of harm versus help.

"No. You are not wrong." I looked at her seriously. "If you don't let anyone close then no one can hurt you like that. But I also know that there is another kind of hurt. The kind that comes from being alone."

I shut up then. I could see her processor working- taking what I had just said, tearing it apart and analyzing it. She didn't say anything., leaning against me.

Motion again, and I managed to keep from turning my head as one of her hands moved from her lap to where mine rested against her side. It hovered for a moment over mine before descending- a light touch.

I let that settle, grow comfortable, before I moved. Setting my own cube safely aside, I reached for the hand still in her lap, using it to pull her closer and holding it over my spark.

I waited for her to pull away, expecting rejection. Instead she laced her fingers through mine and snuggled closer, optics dimmed. Thanking Primus, I dropped my helm to rest gently against hers, secure in the dark and peace with her.

Maybe there was something to these human rituals after all.


End file.
